DAY 9 OF MY 39-DAY SELF-CARE CHALLENGE

There was a time in my life that, every time someone would tell me I was beautiful I would think “yeah, but you don’t know how fucked up I am on the inside.” I knew I fit society’s beauty standards, and yet I still felt awkward, insecure, lonely and ashamed. I was scared of attention. I literally took the alleyways because fewer people could look at me then.

And you know what? This only changed within the last couple of years! Especially when it came to being sexy and feminine — ho boy was I uncomfortable with that!

But look at me now. Dragana Paramentic took these beautiful photos for her new project, The Goddacious Experience. She’s mighty talented, and I was feeling hot as hell!

So how did I make this transformation, you ask? Two things: SISTERHOOD and DOING THE WORK. That’s right.... personal development, specifically in a community setting. Don’t get me wrong — I’ve done my fair share of one-on-one counselling and coaching. But I couldn’t get to HERE alone.

Through (my coach) Catherine Farquharson’s group of 70, and Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts’ army of 900, I have been surrounded by women who saw the light in me.
✨Who lifted me up
✨Carried me when I was down
✨Who I was strong for when they needed me
✨Who celebrated one another’s wins
🔥Whose desires and accomplishments were so much more outrageous and huge and fucking important than mine, that it lit a fire in me to get there/
have that/
do that/
Be that.

Today is Day 9 of #39daysofselfcare. I am at Dragana’s house for a self-love date. That’s right, we are getting together to praise & raise each other (and eat all the foods).

If you wanna love yourself more, get your ass a sisterhood, asap.

Get out of the alleyways. Come walk on the sidewalk where everyone can see you’re a Goddess too.

Resources:

The Goddacious Experience (Toronto)

Catherine Farquharson’s mindset coaching group (global)

Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts: On Sisterhood (global)

If you are looking for SISTERHOOD, specifically with other brides who are planning their weddings, get on the waitlist for The Course! (global)

DAY 7 OF MY 39-DAY SELF-CARE CHALLENGE

A few days ago I was dancing all the feelings out of my body to a rightfully rage-y song and felt compelled to basically trash the place. This consisted of throwing clean laundry EVERYWHERE, whipping the floor with a towel, and writhing around with the pillows and blankets on my bed. My downstairs neighbours are on vay-cay, and it feels so good to let loose. 🌊🌪💦☄️✨

Once I was done, I spent time folding & hanging everything with the KonMari method, which I adore, listening to the Tusk album by Fleetwood Mac. (Can we pls stop and share a moment for the song “Storms”?!?! Tks)

I digress.
Day 7 of #39daysofselfcare is cleaning; specifically to tidy, fold, put out the trash, empty the fridge, and purge a bunch of papers.

But does cleaning count as “self-care”? You bet your bottom dollar!

For anyone naturally tidy, you may not relate to this post. But for many/most people who have experienced depression, you know how bad things can get. There were times in my life my bedroom looked like the above image on a regular day. The simplest acts of housekeeping felt impossible.

But for most people who have experienced depression, you know how bad things can get.

They say depression is anger turned inwards. And my wise coach once said, “your outside world is a reflection of your inner one.” In my experience these two statements are true.

It took me a year of intentional research to discover what “self-love” was for me. In a REAL, literal, action-based sense. I wanted STEPS. I needed instructions. Cleaning was one of them.

It changed my life.
Much to my hippy, anti-establishment, “won’t be domesticated” chagrin, I learned it’s easier to go with the flow, when there’s actual physical space for the flow to go.

If you’re in the middle of wedding planning, maybe you don’t have time/desire to clean. Especially when things get intense, this can go to the bottom of the priority list. I have a hack for that: hire a cleaner!!

LET ME REPEAT:
Hire a cleaning person.

Because, you know what? It’s 100% the same amount and quality of love as if you did it yourself. Maybe even more so! Let go of whatever weirdness you may feel and give yourself that gift.

If you look at your own life, can you see any ways your outside world reflects your inner one?

Resources:

The KonMari Method of tidying up

Catherine Farquharson Coaching