The Course for Brides / Wedding & Family Photographer

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Posts tagged Rosehill Blooms
#39daysofselfcare Day 12: facing fear together
 

Day 12 of my 39-day self-care challenge

On Mondays I go to Rosehill Blooms to work remotely. I go because being away from my big monitor (for photo editing) forces me to work on other things, that I would otherwise put off.

Right now I’m re-doing my website to include my new offerings. Even though I’ve dreamed, strategized, piloted, practiced and prepared, I still feel terrified to step into the next phase of my career.

My mindset coach calls this the Terror Barrier. It involves worry & doubt in the mind, fear in the emotions, and anxiety in the body.

But the spirit holds steady. The spirit (or “pussy” as Mama Gena would say) knows that the things that scare us are the compass for where we should go.

RUN, DON’T WALK spirit says.

I was doing the opposite — I was crawling — until I realized the best solution would be to have someone hold my hand.

Sarah doesn’t drag me through, or give me tough love, like a drill sergeant. She holds space for me to feel the fear and do it anyway. She gets down to business (she’s one of the busiest, most productive wedding pros I know). And I sit next to her and work through my terror barrier. Every now and then we pause for a dance break or a karaoke break... because obviously.

You see, once you hit the terror barrier you can either keep going or stop. But if you stop, you stop. Your goals stop, your desires stop, your dreams stop. So yeah, you can stop, but stopping is, like, actual stopping.

There’s no way around the fear. There’s no shortcut or overpass. There’s no way to avoid the discomfort.

There IS a way to enjoy it though. Because when you understand the REASONS you’re feeling like hell, you can get excited. You can remind yourself that reason you suddenly wake up at 3am is because you’re actually doing something. You’ve finally stepped into action and shit is happening. And it’s the thing you’ve been wanting and wondering and fantasizing and ferreting away in your heart like a little secret love.

And those are comforting thoughts. Comforting and exciting and great.

And then you can go back to sleep.

So today for #39daysofselfcare I packed my lunch and my laptop and went to sit amongst the flowers and my friend, in Rosehill.

 
2018 Year In Review
 
 

2018 was a magical year.

I witnessed the beginning of life, and the end.

I documented happy tears, sad tears, a 3 year-old’s accidentally-bit-my-own-finger tears.

I witnessed motherhood in the deep, quiet content of bonding during baby feeding, the it’s-not-quite-working very newborn breastfeeding, and the tumultuous toddlers doing yoga while eating feeding.

I observed dads kissing-better said bitten finger, and various other upsets. And granddads. And grandmothers!

I photographed best friends getting married, not getting married, making out, not making out, supporting one another, scream-laughing, chugging, doing the limbo, crying together, and just being present.

I could go on.

But instead, here are some photographs I made.

 
 

I can’t wait to post each of these sessions in full, but in the meantime please contact me if you want to see more.

It’s been a while since I posted a Year in Review, but here are some old ones, if you want to see:
2014 - the year of San Francisco
2013 - the year I started Sweetheart Empire!

And Happy New Year!

- Kate
xo